Practitioner's Good Humor

Christ Jesus paid special attention to washing his disciples' feet, for the dust on the feet is where we walked, while the dust on the body is on the wind. Likewise we all eat foods, but milk is our first course in obedience: the way in which we were trained-up to go when we are grown. (FOOT:PHYSICS::MOUTH:CHEMISTRY - little children put their physics in their chemistry)

Let's suppose you've just set yourself up in public office to serve as a Christian Science Practitioner; and let's suppose you are a man (but lady's are welcome to read and understand); and let's suppose you've done your own daily treatment for yourself, and you've read the most recent issues of the Christian Scientists' revision of the news [browsed on the WWWeb], and (you've) handled that old claim that a talking serpent can stir up mischief somewhere on the world's globe, between a man and a woman and their Lord God, and propagate that error right to your doorstep; and, you're ready ... oops, and, you've flipped-over the sign on your door, so that it now reads, THE PRACTITIONER IS 'IN', and on your side it reads, GOD IS IN ANY CASE.

Okay, so you're busy at your desk double-polishing your impervious armor of good thoughts, as you await your next practical client, when, in whisks a young woman with a small baby in a basket, and as she sets her burden in the middle of your desk she exclaims, YOU'RE THE ONLY GOOD MAN I COULD THINK-OF, as she breezes right back out the door, with a POOF and a CLUNK, she's gone.

Next case. Right? Or, do you consult your CHURCH MANUAL on HEALING FLATTERY? You remember that your teacher told you, we don't treat the individual for being cranky: this means, you, too. If the baby is happy, there's not much to handle in that parent's thought. Or do you pray that she finds an other, good man? might work, but wedding bells might be a little far-off! Suppose she really looks like she was ready to go shopping for the day: suppose she's someone you know ... so you're not going to call the neighborhood child-pound (if that's how it's listed in the phone book). Suppose the phone rings, and you're busy with a live case requiring your immediate attention.

Now, what are you going to do with that child: an older child might play, draw pictures with pencil and paper, peek into your computer CONCORD[ance], watch a children's Bible story video on your VCR-TV, or read in your own private Reading-Study Room ... but a young baby will do only so much rocking and cooing and sleeping ... and then gets hungry: hungry enough to, cry (if you've been so occupied to not notice the usual baby conversation). An older child can eat what you eat: soup du jour, New York cut steak au jus, side order of legumes avec cous-cous (vegetables and tiny noodles), a slice of gateau de crepes banane-ananas, a glass of eggnog ... or perhap contrarily, a tangy cheeseburger, on a sour-dough bun, with tangy ketchup, tangy pickle/relish, tangy mustard and tangy mayonnaise, served with a strawberry [whey] milkshake (the American version of sweet-and-sour). But alas, the little baby doesn't even go for plain cow's milk (something about that being an unfamiliar flavor, we men may presume).

Now you pray ... OUR DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER-MOTHER, GOD .... (Somehow that rings funny: something about milk and rain not mixing quite directly right in one's thought of heaven). So you try ... OUR DEAR HEAVEN-OF-HEAVENS-LY FATHER-MOTHER, GOD .... (Well, at least that's going to the source and substance of all right thinking and acting, and forming and being). So now what do you serve the child? Well, now, wait a moment ... what was it you maybe should have been serving yourself: What was it you put away ... and, why? Water? no, you drink plenty of water. Milk you had on your breakfast cereal, with sugar ... now, there's the clue: sweetness counts: the sugar that began your day may be just what that baby needs, but, it's not a cloven-hoofed, four-legged cow's baby (calf), so what's the proportion? Alas, it's on the tip of your tongue, but sense can't recall it nor reveal it (if you haven't had it to drink for decades). You could experiment: sugar for articulation and agility, water for buoyancy and balance ....

Then you remember reading this silly article about PRACTITIONER'S GOOD HUMOR, which reminded you first of the long-ago name for ice cream (and Scripturally, 'butter-and-honey' shall he eat) ... ahh ... cream for upright elevating activity, erectness and exaltation - no wonder we like ice cream. So in a pinch you mix your dessert ice cream with water to thin and melt it (but eat the strawberries yourself), add milk, and hope the little visitor takes to the flavor of vanilla without a fuss .... Next case.

A little later, in preparing your shopping list you recall the concluding paragraph which states that, a cup of cow's milk, with two cups water, and a third of a cup of granulated sugar thoroughly stirred, and blend-in three tablespoons of melted butter (or one third cup of heavy cream) to fatten it - or instead of milk and cream, use one and a third cups of half-and-half (the cream half is light, table cream) ... or ... by volume add one quarter granulated sugar (or by weight add one fifth or 3/16ths) to half-and-half, and then equal water (or more) - makes very nice, SOFT MILK for anytime good humored refreshment in a recipe an older child can appreciate early. Sweet fruit preserves may supply fructose [sugar] which tastes sweeter; and you can enjoy this yourself. Practitioners must rise in the morale of the spirit of Truth, take up their sweet dreams, and walk buoyantly, balanced, erect, in the fat of the land flowing with milk and honey.

/various (government) food value statistics

... The teachings herein are not secularized nor classified: Sunday School pupils, Primary Class students, Normal Class graduates, scholars, researchers, astronomers, scientists, and governments, will find this coursework timely, modern, global, historical, and democratic. The syllabus is the ALMS Program: astronomics, linguistics, mathematics, systematics ... scientific inferentiation on the Holy Biblical Scripture: 'what actually happened'.

FUNDAMENTAL CONTROVERSES: Christian Science Class Instruction * RKPetry

The Son Dey School of Christ Science

The theory of measurement propounded in this work is not to be cited (as) considering contraband or corpses; Nor are the intellectual appurtenances herein to be used for or in the commission of crimes against persons, peoples, properties, or powers (states). May your tabernacle measure true.


© 1996 Mr. Raymond Kenneth Petry

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